A Slow Learner

You know what I’ve been learning lately? I’m a slow learner. And I don’t mean in relation to school or work or my marriage (for the most part); I mean in relation to what God’s trying to teach me.

I started learning one lesson in particular all the way back in October 2008. All of my recent attempts at relationships had completely crashed and burned, and I was starting to get really discouraged. Even at the time, the thought had crossed my mind that maybe God was just making sure I ended up with the right girl, but that didn’t really help me feel much better.

But guess what? That’s exactly what God was doing. I had had all kinds of ideas about the kind of girl I wanted to date, but God had other plans. And as only He could, He made sure that I ended up with HIS girl, to whom I am now married. Though I had definitely started to doubt God’s control over the situation, He showed me that He did, in fact, know what He was doing. We’ll call that God’s attempt #1 to teach me this lesson.

Fast forward to October of last year. Noel had been out of work for several months, and there didn’t seem to be any prospects in sight. Even more than I had about finding a girlfriend, I was doubting God’s control over the situation like crazy. We were almost out of money and discouragement was really starting to set in.

That’s when, out of nowhere, God provided a job for Noel. Not only would she be doing something she loved (teaching), but her salary would also help provide for our financial needs. This was God’s attempt #2 at teaching me a lesson. I had been tempted to interpret God’s lack of action as a lack of control, while in reality He was all along orchestrating circumstances to happen exactly as He wanted them to.

After the elation I felt after Noel got that job, you’d think I would’ve FINALLY learned my lesson…but I didn’t. Jump now to a few months ago, in February. I was becoming increasingly frustrated at Best Buy (for a number of different reasons), and I knew that my class schedule next year would probably be too busy to allow for an off-campus job. So, I had begun praying that God would open up a job at DTS, because I thought that would solve both of my issues.

Lo and behold, a little bit later a position opened up at the campus Book Center. I had retail experience at the busiest Best Buy in Dallas, I enjoyed interacting with people, and I loved books! What job could be a better fit, right? So I interviewed for the job and I thought for sure I’d have a good chance to get it. But not only did I not get hired–I didn’t even get a second interview. Talk about humiliating!

So I was back to the drawing board. Though I figured I’d have to wait to find a new job until the summertime, I kept checking the job board just in case. And wouldn’t you know it, an Admissions TeleCounselor job opened up. So I applied, but three weeks went by and I hadn’t even been asked to come in for an interview.

But that’s when God’s attempt #3 began. One morning I got a call for an interview, and a few days later I met with the Admissions Department. I felt really good about the interview, but in the back of my mind I also knew that several other guys had applied for the position. On top of that, if they were to hire me, they would have to do so knowing that I would be in Ethiopia for two months.

But in the back of my mind I also knew how poorly I had trusted God when He had put me in similar situations in the past. And so, for a change, I decided to actually trust that God knew what He was doing. And as you’ve probably figured out, I ended up getting the job!

Though I didn’t have this perspective at the time, now I’m so thankful that I didn’t get the Book Center job…that Noel didn’t rush into a job she hated…and most of all, that I didn’t settle for a girl who was less than God’s best for me. In all of those situations, if I had just trusted Him more I would’ve saved myself a lot of unnecessary discouragement. Thankfully, God chose to bless me in spite of my slow learning, but hopefully next time it won’t take me so long to learn my lesson!

Alcohol in the Bible: A Plea for Realism

Today I was browsing a church’s website, and I came across a sermon in which the pastor was discussing alcohol in the Bible. His thesis was that there is zero tolerance for alcohol in the Bible and that it is never okay to indulge in the consumption of alcohol. Obviously this is not the forum to give a detailed look at this subject, but having listened to that pastor completely butcher Scripture, I have to at least say a few things in response.

First, this pastor classified the subject of alcohol as a “key doctrinal issue,” and many people I know would agree with this label. But unless a “key doctrinal issue” means an issue which is promoted ad nauseum with Bible verses taken out of context, overly pedantic rhetoric, and little common sense…the subject of alcohol is anything but a critical issue. True examples of key doctrinal issues? Let’s start with the deity of Christ, the resurrection of Christ, the inspiration and inerrancy of Scripture, and the substitutionary death of Christ, etc.

Second, I find this pastor’s thesis to be highly suspect in light of John 2, though ironically, that’s the very chapter he began his sermon with! Particularly in light of verse 10, it’s hard to see how what Jesus made was anything other than true, genuine, alcoholic wine. This pastor, of course, says that this wine was “unfermented grape juice,” and I can’t blame him. After all, one has to claim this in order to fit one’s presupposition that alcohol is never tolerated in Scripture. I know many well-meaning people who would claim this, but the text just doesn’t support such an assertion.

1. In John 2:10, the phrase most often translated “when the people have drunk freely” obscures the more literal rendering of “when the people had become intoxicated.” While this doesn’t really prove anything, it’s important for what happens next in the verse.

2. The master of the feast is surprised that such good wine was still being served after a lot of the guests were a little, well, tipsy. But if Jesus’ wine was only grape juice, that surprise doesn’t make any sense.  The pastor said that the master of the feast said this because he had never tasted anything like the grape juice Jesus had made…really? The only logical way to understand this is seeing the “good wine” as exactly that–wine, and nice tasting wine at that.

The reason I bring all this up is because I believe one of the major problems in the church, particularly in fundamentalist circles, is that we’re not willing to deal with Scripture honestly. I fully recognize that Scripture explicitly denounces getting drunk, but it does not give the same outright prohibition to the general consumption of alcohol. We cannot simply take our already-formed opinions about an issue and warp Bible verses to support such opinions.

Now, all this being said…does this mean I’m an ardent supporter of alcohol consumption? Of course not. But am I against drinking? No. And I don’t just say this because I want to drink (especially considering I don’t drink); I say this because I think that’s what Scripture says.

My hope is that even if you disagree with what I’ve said (and I suspect a great number of you do), you’ll at least evaluate why you believe what you believe. If you can honestly form the conviction that Scripture gives a zero tolerance policy for alcohol, great! However, the last thing we need is more believers like this pastor who preach nonsense based on their presuppositions, not Scripture.

A Lesson in Mercy

Isn’t it cool when God teaches you something amazing about Himself when you’re least expecting it? That’s exactly what happened yesterday afternoon in my Greek class.

No, this lesson had nothing to do with exegesis or syntax…in fact, the lesson really didn’t have anything at all to do with Greek. But there I sat, just feet from one of the most prominent Greek grammarians on the continent, hardly hearing a thing Dr. Wallace had to say. Instead, my mind was fixated on a most profound truth which was taught by means of some very simple circumstances.

Here’s how it happened…

Beginning on Tuesday, I’d been feeling pretty lousy health-wise. My throat hurt, my eyes were dry and tired, and my head felt like it was in-between a pair of vise grips. This continued into Wednesday, when I worked all during the afternoon. When I got home that night, all I wanted to do was crash on the couch and sleep.

But there was something standing between me and blissful rest–Greek. I’d gotten a little behind on my memorization, and there was a massively important take-home quiz sitting in my backpack that was due the next day (Thursday), and I was worlds away from being prepared. Oh sure, I had looked over the material, but even as I got off the couch and started studying that night, the fog in my brain was preventing me from remembering much at all of what I was looking at.

So I decided to be brave and e-mail Dr. Wallace about an extension on the quiz. I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try. Well, much to my relief, Dr. Wallace granted a one day extension due to my sickness, which means I had a little more time to cram my brain full of athematic paradigms.

Fast-forward to class the next day (yesterday). All my classmates could talk about was how hard the quiz was and how badly they knew they’d failed. It was almost like a foregone conclusion that all of them had done pretty miserably on it, even those who usually got high scores.

Now contrast that attitude to mine as I sat there taking all of this in. As the class period went on, my feelings went from those of relief to those of guilt. “Wait a minute,” I thought. “How is it right that I got an extra day and these guys didn’t?” Then I started questioning my motives for the extension and whether I even really deserved to get that break. After all, it wasn’t like I was deathly ill or anything.

And that’s when it hit me–I didn’t deserve it.

There was nothing about my situation that merited the extra day that I was granted. And though I had been a diligent student to that point in the year, my previous effort was still not justification enough to give me the extension.

And all of a sudden, it hit me–this undeservedness I felt about the quiz extension was nothing compared to how I should feel about my salvation.

My thoughts went something like this–how is it fair that I have been granted to have a relationship with Jesus Christ while so many in the world around me are hopelessly lost in their sins? What’s so special about me that I would be chosen for salvation while so many others were not afforded the same election?

The answer? Nothing.

When God saved me, He did so based not on anything good that I had done or because there was anything about me that was worthy of saving; rather, He saved me because He is merciful. Period.

Whoa…

And as I sat in my chair thinking about how it was only because of Dr. Wallace’s finite mercy that I was able to have an extra day to take my quiz, how much more did I, in response, praise God for His infinite mercy which brought me out of the domain of darkness and into the kingdom of His glorious Son.

Surely I deserve nothing but an eternity in hell, but for reasons I will never know God chose me simply because He is merciful. In fact, He would’ve still been merciful even if He hadn’t chosen me (or anyone for that matter),  but that’s what magnifies His mercy all the more.

Isn’t it amazing that a perfect, holy God would stoop to rescue wretched, undeserving sinners such as you and I? May I–may we–never forget this unspeakable mercy by which we are made new…

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses made us alive together with Christ…and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” Eph. 2:4-7

The Providence of God

When we moved to Dallas on July 22, there were several things I knew for sure–I was married to my best friend, we had a nice apartment in which to live, I was going to attend Dallas Theological Seminary, and…that’s about it! Basically, there were a whole lot more unknowns than “knowns.”

A lot of people probably thought we were crazy when we packed up to move half-way around the country with no jobs set in stone and little money in the bank, but we were confident that God would provide for us according to His timetable.

It only took a week for Him to provide me a job at Best Buy, and we were sure that it was only a matter of time before He brought along a great full-time job for Noel as well. While we had been able to save some money during our engagement, we knew that it wouldn’t last forever; so while we weren’t desperate for Noel to get a job, we knew that one would have to come along in the not-too-distant future.

Well August and September came and went without any hint of a job for Noel, despite the many applications she filled out. She even became a Certified Nurse Assistant in hopes of finding a job in one of the fastest growing fields in Dallas, but yet we heard nothing from prospective employers.

In October, knowing that money was running short, I was able to get my part-time position switched to full-time, which meant more hours and a slight pay raise. That helped us out, but I was still barely making minimum wage, and juggling a full-time job and a full-time class load was not something I wanted to do for very long if I didn’t have to. Though we had no idea how God was going to provide, I remember being confident that God hadn’t brought us here to bankrupt us, so He must have something up His sleeve.

Well that something started with a voice mail I received on October 12th. It was from Noel, and she had some very interesting news. One of our good friends (and also our neighbor) worked at a Christian school, and he said that one of the elementary teachers had just quit, leaving an open position. Knowing that Noel had been a teacher last year, our friend told the administration about her, and we were cautiously optimistic that something might come out of the situation.

What ensued was a whirlwind of interviews, prayers, and anxious phone calls. After what seemed like an eternity, Noel was offered a full-time job teaching 4th grade beginning January 31st. When we found out, obviously we were overjoyed and thankful beyond belief, especially when we found out they wanted her to be a paid substitute until she began teaching full-time.

And while the euphoria lasted for several weeks, we were snapped back into reality by our continually dwindling bank account. Though we were now both receiving pay checks, both were small and insufficient to cover our bills. We still had a little left in savings, but we knew it was only a matter of time before it ran out. So we just kept praying for God to provide, though we had no idea how or when He would.

And then it started happening. One day it was a late wedding check…another day it was an insurance refund from the summer…and the list went on and on. And though to this day I have no idea how God made it happen, we made it until today when Noel started her job full-time.

But do you know what I find most ironic about the whole thing? I spent about two hours on our finances this morning, and I discovered something amazing: our money had run out. Literally. We would’ve had enough to make it until March 1st, but then the rent and school bill would’ve been due and there would’ve simply been no money with which to pay for it.

Crazy, huh? But on second thought, I think there’s something else that’s even more ironic than that. Guess what the name of the school she’s teaching at is? It’s none other than Providence Christian School.

Though the past six months have brought with them their fair share of anxious moments, looking back I honestly wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. Why? Because the things we learned when we were forced to rely on God are things that no Bible study class or textbook could ever have taught us. For the first time in my life I could no longer rely on the one thing I always thought I could depend on–myself. But in stripping that away, God helped me realize that it is He alone on whom I must rely, for He will provide, and He will sustain.

And so, having seen all the little “coincidences” come together–having a friend who “happens” to be both our neighbor and fellow church attender work at a school that just “happened” to have a teacher quit…(I could go on, but I think you get the point)–something tells me I’ll think twice before doubting that God can do what seems impossible!

Back When Life Was Easy

Have you ever stopped to think about how easy things used to be? You know, back when we were kids? I mean really, think about what life used to involve at our different formative stages:

1. Newborn: I don’t remember this stage, but having observed my fair share of babies, it seems to me that life was pretty good at this age. Let’s see–you sleep, eat, poop, and repeat…all day long. Sounds pretty care-free, right?

2. Toddler: Life gets a little more complicated at this stage, but only because now you can actually tell what your toys are. That means you have to choose which one to play with and whether you want to share it with anyone else. Oh yeah, and you also have to make the scary jump to pooping in a toilet, but hey, that has its perks too. You don’t have to sit in your own mess anymore and you usually get some kind of prize for getting it in the bowl. It’s a win, win situation!

3. Childhood: This part gets a little trickier, as school starts and the dreaded thing called homework begins. But then again, it’s not all bad–you’re starting to make lots of friends and you still get to do a whole lot of nothin’ in the summer. In the grand scheme of things, a whole summer of relaxing and playing outside is a small price to pay for a little homework!

4. Adolescence: Okay, here’s where things get pretty hinky. Your face starts to break out like the plague and you’re powerless to stop it; half of your “friends” decide they don’t like you anymore; and oh yeah, suddenly your summer of fun is filled with other stuff–baseball practice, band camp, and that oh-so-awesome summer job at McDonald’s. But hey, look on the bright side: you finally have your drivers license, which means “Chaperone Mom” is no longer synonymous with date night! Unfortunately, the absolute awkwardness of the life stage makes even this new-found freedom seem like a bad bargain.

5. Early Adulthood: This is when you learn that the house you grew up in didn’t pay for itself and the car you drive requires a lot more than just a full tank of gas. All your friends are either dating or married, and you’re still trying to figure out how to say two sentences to that pretty girl in your college class without sounding like a moron (or was that just me?). Oh yeah, and there’s the ever-looming reality that college doesn’t last forever and a real job is looming on the horizon. But wait, what’s that sliver of light shining in the darkness? Why it’s Friday nights out with friends and the making of memories that will last a lifetime. Surely those are worth the headaches of the other stuff, right?

Seriously, don’t you wish sometimes that you could go back to those early years when life was so easy? No bills, no job…essentially, no stress! But right about the time I start thinking that that life would be awful nice, I remember what I’d be losing in the process–my wife, meaningful friendships, the satisfaction of hard work, the excitement of a future career, and a whole lot of other good stuff. The prospect of doing nothing but sleeping and eating all day surely does sound enticing sometimes (think, Finals Week); but at the end of the day it just can’t compare to the here and now, stressful as it may be.

I realized today that sometimes I have the same kind of reminiscent thinking about my early spiritual life. I.e., there are a lot of times when I subconsciously (or even consciously) wish that I could go back to the days when my Christian life was relatively simple.

Think about it: when you first become a believer, your spiritual life is relatively uncomplicated–you read a few verses in your Bible (even though you don’t understand most of it), you stumble through awkward prayers, and you feel like the perpetual smile on your face will never go away because now you’re a child of God.

Then reality sets in and you realize that eventually this simple routine is going to have to change if you have any hopes of growing in Christ. The maturation process must begin, and slowly but surely meat must replace milk in your diet. Your Bible reading has to get more frequent and in-depth, your prayers more personal, and suddenly there are trials in your life that require a concerted effort to keep the smile on your face.

Oh yeah, and then there’s the issue of sin. Not only does growing in Christ mean you become more aware of how desperately sinful you are, but you also become very acquainted with a phenomenon known as conviction…and lots of it. Though you know that conviction is a good thing because it denotes sensitivity to the Spirit, it also means you can’t practice the sins you used to love without feeling really bad about it.

Hence my occasional desire to return to the “good ‘ol days” of my Christian life. Less effort, guilt, and responsibility–what more could I ask for, right? But about the time that starts sounding really good, I remember all that the pursuit of a more mature spiritual life gets me–deeper intimacy with God, encouraging fellowship with other believers, greater understanding of Scripture, to name a few; and suddenly all that gut-wrenching conviction and accountability doesn’t seem so bad.

How about you…what parts of the “good ‘ol days” do you find yourself missing most often in your physical and spiritual lives? When you find yourself yearning for those times, what snaps you back into reality and makes you grateful for your present condition? I’m anxious to hear your thoughts!

–Nate

My Ethical Dilemmas

Most of you know that I (Nate) work at Best Buy. But it’s not just any Best Buy–it’s the highest volume store in Dallas-Fort Worth and the third highest volume store in the state of Texas. In other words, as the most important store in our district, the sales stakes are high and the pressure is always on to beat the bottom line.

In August I started as a cashier, where my main job was to check out customers’ products (duh!). But a second, equally important task was to push two of our big services: Black Tie Protection and branded payments (credit cards). Wanting to do well and be looked upon favorably by my managers and supervisors, I did what anyone in my shoes would presumably do–I worked my tail off and sold like my job depended on it. After all, even though nobody at Best Buy makes commission on anything, that doesn’t mean selling well isn’t important.

And so I sold…a lot. And the ironic thing is, growing up I was always terrible at selling anything. Whether it was chocolate bars or flowers, I could barely ask my family to buy from me, let alone go door to door selling to complete strangers. So when I realized that I was actually a good salesman, I was just as surprised as anyone else.

To be honest, it scared me how well I sold. To be even more honest, how well I “manipulated” might be a better phrase. Oh sure, nothing I did was illegal or even semi-controversial, but sometimes what I did (and still do) just doesn’t feel right.

The problem is, because of my good performance I was promoted in November. Now my job is to teach/coach the cashiers to sell like I can. It’s a great new role and I’m happy to be off the registers and doing more leadership; but now that I’ve had some time to think about everything, two questions of an ethical nature have arisen in my mind.

1. Do I feel comfortable convincing customers to buy something they might not really want to buy? Right now you’re thinking, “Wait a minute…if they say ‘yes’ and agree to buy the protection or sign up for a credit card, doesn’t that mean they want it? After all, you’re not forcing them to buy it; so how can you say they don’t really want it?”

Well here’s the thing: about 50% of our customers will always say “no” to any offer they’re presented; another 15% will always say “yes” to buying our protection or signing up for our credit card (if they don’t already have one); and a final 35% will go either way–and that’s where I come in. If my presentation and persuasive techniques are skillful enough, these are the customers I can convince to buy what I offer.

Most of the time I think customers whom I convince to take my offer do so genuinely and willingly; but I really think there are some (and perhaps even many) customers who really don’t want the protection or credit card, but my persuasive and, let’s be honest, pushiness, are effective enough to elicit a sale. And while this may be considered good sales technique, I’m beginning to question whether I consider this to be good ethical technique.

Here’s where my first dilemma comes in. (And by definition, a dilemma is a situation in which there are multiples options, neither of which are very good.) There are multiple times a shift when I can tell that people are contemplating the protection, and if I wheeled and dealed and pressed hard enough, I could get them to say “yes.” Early in my time at Best Buy I took great joy in doing this; now, I find it hard to engage in such persuasion with a clear conscience.

I find this to be particularly true when it comes to branded payments. The vast majority of people who apply for our credit cards do not get approved, but each application query still procures a benefit to our store. While that doesn’t sound too bad, remember that if individuals have several “hard” credit checks in a short time frame, their credit is damaged. Thus, by persuading customers who know they have bad credit to try for a credit card anyhow, I am essentially perpetuating their bad financial situation.

So what’s the better option? I could ease up on my sales technique and assure that only those who truly want my offer take it, and in doing so keep my conscience clear. Or I could continue to push and prod and get sales because, after all, I do work in a sales position.

2. What is the motivation for my job? I know, I know…Noel and I don’t have money and a job’s a job. To be sure, the fact that I have a job at all in this economy is motivation to keep it. But on a deeper level, lately I’ve had trouble finding motivation beyond garnishing an income.

Now, if I were planning to be a Best Buy lifer and move up within the company, I could find plenty of motivation for going to work! But because my career aspirations do not include Best Buy, it really is hard to be motivated sometimes.

After all, on a very basic level my job is to get people to spend money…and lots of it. But in the grand scheme of life, what real eternal value is there in helping people empty their pockets on meaningless trinkets? Now don’t get me wrong–I’m not saying that a Christian can’t find fulfillment and purpose in the secular business realm. But what I am saying is, that is not the career field for which I am wired.

Many of you know that I want to teach the Bible someday, and dreaming about that future ministry really does make it hard to find motivation in my current position. After all, someday it won’t be too hard to get motivated to impart life-changing truth!

Now at this point you might be thinking, “For someone who wants to teach the Bible, you’re definitely missing an obvious source of motivation–the glory of God. And pleasing Him is all the motivation you should need!” That’s a fair point and one I’ve certainly contemplated often; but I don’t think it’s totally relevant in this instance.

Before you label me a heretic, consider this: if I truly strove to do the best I could and in the process seek to glorify God, would I not be in danger of violating my conscience? I.e., doing my 100% best would mean that I do the total wheeling and dealing that gets results; but if doing this goes against my conscience, is that really more glorifying to God than lacking motivation to take people’s money?

You can understand my dilemma then. Either I “do all to the glory of God” by getting sales and risk the integrity of my conscience; or I struggle to find motivation for my job and risk defaming the Lord by my poor attitude.

At this point let me say that if you’re still reading this, thank you! While a big purpose of this post has been to put my thoughts into words, a bigger purpose is to gain insight and advice from you readers. I realize that many of you have been in similar situations…so what do you think I should do? I’m anxious to hear your thoughts!

Stop and Smell the Roses

I’ve started this blog mainly for my husband’s sake as he’s always wanting to write out his thoughts. Seminary doesn’t have to be just crossing off dates on a syllabus. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Stop and smell the roses,” to which I add, “And stop smelling the syllabus!” Stopping to smell the roses can take any number of forms in seminary, whether it’s putting aside homework to spend more time with your family, taking a walk, catching a dollar movie, going out to eat with a gift card you received for Christmas, taking a book off the shelf that’s NOT required reading, a late night McDonald’s run, or playing a game of rummy that lasts well after midnight. Our life doesn’t start only after Nate has graduated.  One of the best pieces of advice we received from an older couple at church was to not view this time as temporary. Otherwise, we’d only ever live in the future and the “after seminary” mentality and forget to enjoy where we are in the present. I’m convinced seminary offers much more than world-class professors, great chapel speakers, and the acquisition of knowledge. It’s gotta – and I’m along for that (long) ride!